Tuesday, November 09, 2010

Hotel weights and measures

1mm - the minimum clearance around the bed
1kC - the maximum range in temperature of the shower
£450 - the acceptable rate per MB for Hotel WiFi
£15 - the minimum reasonable cost per bottle of water supplied to the room
By the lift - a quiet location
7:15 - sufficiently close to 8:00 for your alarm call
17.4kB/sec - Super Fast broadband connnection
By the car park entrance - alternative quiet location
2 - a wide range of pillow choice
€12 - a reasonable charge for laundering socks
€17.50 - bargain charge for 2 boiled eggs and a slice of ham for breakfast
45minutes - close to the City centre
6:30am - reasonable time for room service to knock on your door to see if you have left for the day
2 - sufficient hangers in the wardrobe
1 - copious supply of electricity sockets
1st floor overlooking the main road by the lift and the car park entrance - the quietest room in the hotel

#TEE10 Keynotes and how not to do them

if you keep a weather eye on my twitter stream (www.twitter.com/pjbryant) you may have noticed i got a bit annoyed this afternoon at TechEd Berlin.

This was because of the keynote. When Brad turned up in suit and tie, i knew we were
in for a repeat of the 2009 disaster that was (now departed to Nokia) Stephen Elop's keynote. I could go on for ages, but i'll summarise instead:

1) Keynotes at conferences have been paid for by the delegates in some way. They have certainly given up their precious time to attend the conference, and expect value back from Microsoft for so doing. At a cost of €1895 for the conference, each session is about €75. I like to get value for that.
2) Keynotes have (traditionally) been exciting. They have brought a genuine WOW into the day, and kickstarted the conference such that everyone feels energised and ready to go.
3) Keynotes have been timed to the start of the day, so rather than meander into the conference you'd want to turn up, get your freebie (if there was one), and see something you've not seen before (the South African drumming especially comes to mind).

This keynote repeated last years failure - Microsoft clearly have not learned from the maxim that you have to remember the past, else you are condemned to repeat it. It failed on the criteria above as:
1) This was not value for money, i did not come out (and many others did not) feeling it was €75 well spent. In fact i came out thinking i'd wasted an opportunity to better plan my conference.
2) There was no excitement, nothing new, no electrifying demo
3) The keynote fizzed out. At the end of the day people left to go and do something better. This keynote was clearly timed to be able to broadcast to the widest possible community (most of whom HAVE NOT PAID for it) including the US. Brad was talking to the suits outside the room not the golfs and t's in the room.

Finally, i was pretty active on twitter during the keynote. It was interesting to note the large number of tweets coming from Redmond (and other locations) staffers who were clearly deluded enough (or encouraged enough) to cheerlead from the sidelines.

Microsoft, get your house in order. Make the next TechEd Keynote 100% relevant to the people in the room, and let others watch because they are interested, not because they are the true audience. Make sure delegates go away:
1) fizzing with excitement for the rest of the week
2) glad to have been there
3) inspired to do something when they get home
And that the online viewers really wished they had been there.

Repeat the same mistake next time, and i'll know for sure you don't care about me as a delegate, and that may mean I (and others) may give up coming. I can watch a lousy keynote from home; and have nicer coffee.

Monday, November 08, 2010

Ye Gods the bags have got smaller and cheaper! #TEE10

But frankly that's a good thing. My wife doesn't really understand why I want to keep 19 previous TEE bags :-)

And to be honest I'll never have 20 laptops to carry around.

#TEE10 Apple 1 Microsoft 0

At Tech*Ed there is a wireless network. With 7000 delegates and staff (possibly more) it's a network i would not like to have to supply. It can get a bit flaky. This morning they are still tuning the setup i should think and the organisers prefer not to have a strong signal in the session rooms to put people off using their devices.

Well, the new iPad has maintained the connection so far, the winmo6.1 phone has connected but been unable to shift a single byte... Maybe I should upgrade to Windows Phone 7...